For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
