This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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