I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So squirting runs in the family.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
