I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
