How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
