You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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