I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
