Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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