I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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