so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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