can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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