Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
