So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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