no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
