a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
