have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
