dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
