i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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