If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
