and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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