I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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