I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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