The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
