i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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