You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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