I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
