I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
