I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
