Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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