That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
