Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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