He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
