I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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