Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
