i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
