remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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