i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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