So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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