I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
