i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
