i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
