Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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