Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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