I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
