Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
