chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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