Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
