I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
