Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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