I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
