"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
